Guiding star


As a child I learned a few of the constellations: the big and little dipper and Orion. Later in college I took an astronomy class and found Scorpio, a few interesting stars and planets. Even now I make the effort to check out meteor showers, commits and am frequently caught staring at the moon. Why you might ask? Other than their relative beauty?

When I was child we moved a lot. So along with animals, the stars became a way to orient myself when nothing else seemed familiar. I could look up into the sky, find Orion and know that something was still the same.

I have one vivid memory that stands out. It was my first day of college. I still lived at home with my parents because I couldn’t afford to live in the dorms. So I drove two hours one way three days a week for my entire first semester of school.

That fist morning I was so terrified. As I drove out of the woods where my parents live, I tried to tell myself to calm down; that I could handle this, that I was ready. But there was some part of me that felt like that little girl moving again; uncertain and afraid.

As I rounded the last corner pulling onto the main road I looked up at the purple sky and there on the horizon, where I never expected him to be as Orion. It was like God and nature were  telling me that it would be okay. I can’t fully express the depth at which this effected me.I drove on knowing that I could handle the day before me and that somehow I would make it.

Even know when I think back on that moment I can feel the glow inside, the quiet knowing that I am not alone; even when no one is with me, I am never alone.


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