If you have been following along, I’m sure to some extent you have noticed that my blogs have been frenetic and a little depressing. Without going into any detail about my life, I will say that this has been the worst holiday season of my entire life to date. I think death is the only thing I haven’t added.
That said I have learned a lot. My best friend refers to me as the “family she chose.” This statement has come into my mind many times over the past month or so, as my life gets crazier I think about the people and things I “choose” to have in my life. And I am so greatful for my best friend and her wonderful husband.
She is the kind who texts to remind me that I am loved and worthy just the way I am when she knows I’m in a bad place. She has opened her home so that I would know that I am wanted, loved and have a place to go always.
It is the people like this in your life that make moments like I am living do-able. I know that my situation will change and I will make it though, but in the mean time there will be two hour phone calls, emergency texts and the need to hear a friendly voice at irrational times of day. And for all of that I say thank you, to my dear dear friend. You and Mark where the one bright spot in this ongoing night. Thank you for letting me be me, whatever that meant and reminding me that I don’t have to earn or be something to be loved. There are people out there who will love me without rules and conditions, without constant heart ache.
I love you both so very much,